As you journey towards your goals, you have probably heard countless of time that fear is your worst enemy. And it is: fear leads to doubt, and doubt leads to failure and surrender. When you act and talk from a place of fear, your actions and behaviors will say more about what you don’t want to achieve than what you’re trying to accomplish. On that regard, confidence is your best attire, and confidence means recognizing your own value as a human being. There’s a misconception around, though. As a culture, we are tough to let go of our fears and our limiting beliefs, but, as humans, we tend to take the easy route and end up denying their existence altogether.
When we have big goals, we get obsessed with our dream lives and attached with the end result. In the process, we tend to bury whatever is holding us back, and as long as we don’t face them, those negative feelings keep surfacing stronger and stronger. Fear is a human thing, and we are allowed to fear. In fact, we should embrace our inner fears in order to get past them.
If we follow Sigmund Freud’s basic human behavior chart, we find that whatever we say and however we act comes from deep insides of us. Our most inner being is our instinct, the human animal that wants to survive; the next branch is our values and principles, which in turn control our behaviors, and our behaviors control our actions and words.
Now, around 90 percent of our values and principles, that which defines us as individuals, comes from our childhoods. We picked up such knowledge from our caregivers, and educators, as well as the religion and culture that surrounded us as we grew up.
Past traumas, pains, regrets, and fears are also part of the mix, but, more importantly, what we lack and what he had during our childhoods is going to become one of our most defining qualities. So, if you come from a loving family, you will be love your significant other without a problem, but if you come from a dysfunctional family, you will mirror those troubles as an adult.
We ought to be aware of what we inherited from our childhoods because they are holding us back. Consider your body as your mind’s interface in the physical world, so your mind would be the CPU, and your beliefs, values, and principles your operative system. Now imagine yourself running around the world with an outdated operative system. Or worst, with a Human OS that creates fear instead of self-love and confidence.
Updating our operative system is the first step to embracing our fears in order to let them go. The first thing you’ll need to do is recognizing how you’re treating yourself and ow do you consider yourself. Do you think you’re insignificant? Do you think you’re unworthy? Do you think you’re a failure? Good, these are all human emotions, keep them flowing and don’t deny them. List all of these feelings if you want.
Next, identify where they are coming from. You can divide your life into segments of 5 years (0 to 5 years old, 5 to 10 years old, …) and see what happened during that time that made you feel as you feel today.
As you know about your limiting beliefs, and you also know where they come from, you can now do an exercise to get past them:
Lay down on your bed and listen to any soft music you might like. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a while. You have to reach a relaxed state when you no longer feel your muscles, when your back and your neck are totally comfortable, and where your mind is no longer wandering.
Say it to yourself: say everything negative you believe you are. Embrace it, feel it, let it flow through your body like a hot liquid. Say it until you’re satisfied until you’re no longer angry and then, change your words: instead of saying you’re unworthy, say you choose to know you’re worthy; instead of believing you cannot have abundance, say you choose to know you can be abundant.
Every thought on your mind is a conscious, though, and thoughts lead feelings. Take control of that.
As you see, it was never about denying what you fear but accepting it. And it can be anything: Do you fear you can’t find love? Do you fear you’ll always be stuck in the same job?
Embrace it, feel it, even cry if you want to. And then open your hands into the sky as a sing of letting them go. If you can’t open your hand, then you’re just not ready to live up to your full potential.
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